e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune

No matter which side you are on in this matter, this is unusually good.
This guy is hilarious... Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the
Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change
for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page...

I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. I would
suggest, as in an email I received, they change the name of the Redskins
to the "Foreskins" to better represent their community, paying tribute
to the dick heads in our Washington Congress.

I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the
racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that
to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt
them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend,
and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move
forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the
Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference
the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the
Cleveland Browns.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of
militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white
folks.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team
named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to
that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. It is totally inappropriate to have the New
Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and
pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the
Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to
our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or
even spending habits. It is a wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a
growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to
rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become
involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the
do-nothing Congress loves.

As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind,
suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon
State women's athletic teams to something other than "the Beavers."