Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Robert Smalls a black badass!!!

I'm about to blow your mind by telling you about the most badass historical figure you never learned about in school. If you have heard of him, then you probably already know who I'm about to say. If you haven't, you're not going to believe that nobody ever told you about this guy. I'm talking about Robert Smalls.
Robert Smalls was born into slavery on a South Carolina plantation. As a youth, he was permitted to go to Charleston and work, though he was forced to send most of his wages back to his master. He began taking jobs at the docks in Charleston Harbor, and later on some of the ships that came and went from the port. By the time the Civil War came around, Smalls had become an experienced seaman, so he was assigned to steer a Confederate Navy vessel called the Planter, based out of Charleston. The crew consisted of a few white officers and a number of slaves.
Smalls went to great lengths to show the Confederates that he was trustworthy and content; they never knew that he was hatching an elaborate plan to escape from slavery and deal a blow to the Confederacy, and that he had secretly recruited most of the enslaved crew in his plot. Then one night, when the Planter had docked in Charleston with a shipment of heavy guns aboard, Smalls put his plan into action. When the officers went ashore for the evening and left the ship in the care of the enslaved crew, Smalls led them in hijacking the vessel. They made one stop at another set of docks to pick up the families of Smalls and other crew members, who waited in hiding after having been notified of the scheme in advance.
They weren't in the clear yet, though, because they still had to sail past a number of Confederate checkpoints on their way to freedom. But Smalls had a plan for that, too: he had been watching the captain and learning the hand signals he used at the checkpoints. Donning the captain's uniform and trademark straw hat, he guided the Planter past five Confederate harbor forts by impersonating the captain and displaying the correct signals. By the time anyone realized the Planter had gone missing, it was too far gone to catch. He had his crew replace the Confederate flags aboard the ship with white ones, and they were intercepted by a Union vessel who saw the white flags just before they were about to fire. The Union sailors were perplexed by the sight of an all-black crew, until Robert Smalls came forward and shouted, "Good morning, sir! I've brought you some of the old United States guns, sir!" He then asked the Union sailors to give him a United States flag to raise on the Planter.
Robert Smalls' story would be amazing if it ended there, but it doesn't. After receiving a large sum of prize money for his delivery, he entered service in the Union Navy as a pilot on several vessels, including the repurposed Planter. In this role, he removed mines that he had helped lay as a slave, and participated in a number of sea battles. During one battle, the fighting grew so intense that the captain of the Planter hid in the interior of the ship and ordered the crew to surrender. Fearing that the black crewmen would be enslaved or killed if captured, Smalls refused to surrender; instead, he took command of the ship and navigated the Planter through the Confederate onslaught to safety. Because of his bravery, Smalls was promoted to captain himself, becoming one of the highest ranking and highest paid black officers in the Civil War.
Smalls leveraged his resulting fame into social activism, throwing his support into an initiative to educate former slaves, and becoming literate himself (in most Confederate states, it was illegal to teach a black person to read). While riding a streetcar in Philadelphia, he was ordered to give up his seat to a white passenger; Smalls left the car, rather than suffer the indignity of being forced to ride on the overflow platform. When word got out that a decorated hero of the Civil War had been humiliated thusly, it prompted a backlash that led to the integration of public transportation in Pennsylvania.
But Robert Smalls STILL wasn't finished. He entered politics, serving in the South Carolina legislature before becoming one of the first black people elected to the U.S. House of Representatives in 1874. And he remained active in public life into the 20th century; in 1913, he prevented the lynching of two black men accused of murder in his town by warning the mayor that the local black population would burn the city to the ground if the mob was not stopped.
And the plantation where Smalls had grown up a slave? He purchased it after the war, and lived there until his death in 1915. The monument at his grave is inscribed with this quote: "My race needs no special defense, for the past history of them in this country proves them to be the equal of any people anywhere. All they need is an equal chance in the battle of life."
And that is the story of the great American hero Robert Smalls, known by too few people today.

Monday, February 11, 2019

They walk among us!!!

1.     WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked intellectual leadership. 
He received a $26 million severance package. 
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2.    WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.
Police in Oakland, CA, spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. 
After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man
was standing beside them in the police line, shouting,
"Please come out and give yourself up!"

3.    WHAT WAS PLAN B?
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different
automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts!

4.    THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and
asked for all the money in the cash drawer. 
Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied
up the store clerk and worked the counter
himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5.    DID I SAY THAT?
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. 
When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat
the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot,"
the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6.    ARE WE COMMUNICATING?
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant
and her contractions are only two minutes apart." 
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.  "No!" the man screamed, "This is her husband!"

7.    NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon.
King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. 
Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket!  (Hellooooooo)!

8.    THE GRAND FINALE!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an
hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks new to boating, were having a problem. 
No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand-new, 22-foot boat going. 
It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,
no matter how much power they applied. 
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. 
A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down,
and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. 
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. 
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. 
NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE. 
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

And they walk amongst us ... worse yet, they vote!!!







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